Leila Djansi has sparked a discussion on women’s relationship decisions by pointing out what she calls a concerning trend of compromising independence and personal development for love.
The award-winning director recounted her frustration after losing her nanny when the woman’s boyfriend asked her to quit her work and come home. Leila used the story to illustrate how frequently women give up stability and opportunity at their partners’ orders.
According to Leila, the irony is that these same people, men and children included, often look out for their own interests first.
Leila counselled women to spot manipulation when it appears as love.
The filmmaker urged women to develop their sense of self-worth before looking to others for approval.
Her post reads;
“Why on earth do some women make decisions based on their boyfriend?
We lost a nanny yesterday because her boyfriend wanted her back home.
I keep seeing this. A man snaps his fingers and some women throw away work, income, opportunity, stability. What is it? Security? Love? Or some body part driving you crazy?
My boyfriend
My husband
My child.
The three primary things women place above income, advancement, wellbeing, independence and personal growth.
Funny thing, those three things are always looking out for themselves first.
Listen here. Any man who demands that you throw away something that serves you just to please him is not in love with you. A man who does not care about what you want does not care about you. He’s using you to keep himself comfortable. He will replace you in a second.
I know you don’t want to hear it, because that one thing he does sends you straight to the international space station. Madam, come back to earth and plant your feet on higher ground.
Women are conditioned to invest in others who are not taught to invest back equally. taught that their life is only as real as the man attached to it.
That is the tragedy. Your tragedy as a woman. Because if those things are ever taken away from you, you will be empty. Zero. Nothing.
Be smart. Fill yourself up with something valuable FIRST before you bend over.”
NKONKONSA.com
